What is anger?
Anger is one of the most natural emotions you can feel, and it's perfectly healthy. In fact, not being angry if the situation calls for it is unhealthy. According to Harry Mills, Ph.D., anger is a response to physical or emotional pain. Everyone is bound to experience pain at some point, so becoming angry is unavoidable. However, learning how to manage your anger is within your control.
How do you control anger
1. Analyze the Situation
If you find a solution, make plans to implement it and do your best, but don't punish yourself for not living up to your own expectation.
2. Breathing & Visualization
Anger is as much a physiological response as an emotional one; if you calm your body, you'll feel less angry. Breathing exercises are an effective way to slow the heart rate and relax the muscles. This sends a relaxation signal to the brain, and although you may still feel annoyed, you likely won't feel as close to losing your temper. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth, holding your breath for three slow counts in between.
3. Alter Your Thinking
A common response when you're angry is to claim that things always go wrong or never go right. These thought patterns reinforce your anger because you feel it's justified. Therefore, you make no effort to solve your problems. Not only are these thoughts a self-fulfilling prophecy, they can depress or drive away people who might have been willing to help you.
4. PLAN & RESPOND
Once you have notice what causes your anger, especially if it has been caused by another person, see if you can express it, at first to yourself, in terms that don't harm the other person, but respect their position and which are likely to elicit their understanding and cooperation. Try and use "I" statements. For example: When I come home I need a few minutes to unwind. I find I get angry when I have to respond to demands right away. I know you have been busy too and we have a lot to get through of an evening, but would you mind giving me a second before asking to help out with the chores? I would appreciate it.
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